The Next Chapter?

First things first. Fallout from the poo incident: Never got a call back from the landlady. Maintenance did come and apologize the next morning, which was nice. I still wrote a letter to the property management company cuz they need to know the whole thing was unacceptable. So this remains to be continued. Piggybacking on that, that was the final straw for me, and John and I are planning to high-tail it outta here as soon as humanly possible. We'll be staying in Btown, and already have a place picked out, just gotta get all of our ducks in a row.

In more...well, in other news...today, Tuesday, October 27 is day one of my unemployment. Navigant decided my performance wasn't good enough to make it worthwhile to keep me, so at 5:25 yesterday afternoon, the big department boss called me into the lovely conference room to give me the boot. He did tell me that everyone loves me, and that I was a really great person, but I was ultimately not doing as well as I should be. So I took a minute, I went back to my desk, sent a quick email to my closest friends telling them what happened, and then my wonderful little network of friends all converged on my desk and helped me pack my stuff into one of those dreaded Hammer Mill boxes (for which I have exciting plans of destruction) and carried it out to the car for me.

I have many, many, many thoughts and fears, with a few tiny glimmers of hope in there. Here are the clearest of my thoughts at present:

1. I have two paths here: I can roll over and die, or I can look at this as one of the defining moments in my life, and use it to make changes. My goal is achieve the latter. I am taking the philosophy that the world has opened up before me, and is mine for the taking. Now, I just have to find something that I want to take, something that will suit me and make me happy(er) than legal data entry. I was shriveling up in there...my creative mind needs somewhere it can spread out.

2. Jobs do something funny to us. They make us feel like what we do in the 9-5 defines us, that what our job is is what we are. And in the working world, all your employers care about is what you are 9-5. No one at Navigant (aside from my friends) cared that I am a poet, creative, that I graduated cum laude with a Litt degree, that I love design and photography, and that few things make me happier than kittens. What started to bother me a while ago was that I beginning to let my job define me. But I finally found a way to handle the "So, what do you do?" question. When someone asks this, they are almost always asking what you do for a job. But that's not how they phrase it. So when someone asks me, "Maureen, what do you do?" I respond, "Well, I do a lot. What would you like to hear about?" Mainly this catches people off guard, and puts me back in control. Then hey almost always then ask, "What do you do for work?" To which I'd quickly respond with the appropriate answer, and then add in a few of the things that really make me who I am. "I do A, B, and C, but I'm also a poet, I love singing, and I miss acting." Something like that, anyway.

3. Being unemployed is scary--I wish there was a job search engine like Match.com or eHarmony. Now, never having been on Match.com or eHarmony, I assume you answer those questions and you still get a gazillion responses. "You said you like tall, blonde men between 25 and 31, but here are a bunch of short redheads 45 and over who you might also like." Cuz I know when I get those emails from Monster that are supposed to be "tailored to my keywords" I find myself wondering where I typed in that I have a PhD in Psychology or that I have 5+ years' experience in teaching physics. ::shakes head::

So my immediate game plan is one of survival: today I am not doing too much job-hunting. I'm just working on being kind to myself, and letting it all sink in before I spring into action. I have two more paychecks coming from Navigant, then I'll shuffle over to the old bread line and file for unemployment benefits. Hopefully I won't need them for long. I like to think the perfect Maureen job is out there, sleepily opening its eyes, getting ready to come and find me...

The Most Recent Reason I'm Disturbed

I know, it doesn't take much. But this, friend, will shock and frighten you. And hopefully gross you out as much as I was...

So the last week or so, we've had the pleasure of having the company of what we assume is a squirrel or similar large rodent trapped in our wall. We hear it along the back of of the house, and then we won't for a night or two (when it's gone down to bother our neighbor). So today maintenance and the complex's pest control service came to set some traps in the attack. Which is all fine and well cuz I want that sucker gone. He makes Hammy go banana sandwiches all night and the sound itself makes my stomach churn. So what's the problem, you ask?

The attic access is through my closet, meaning when they opened the panel to get in there and take care of business, various samples of various rodents' poo and nests, as well as insulation and God knows what else had fallen all over the floor, the shelf in the closet, and most disgusting of all...it was covering my CLOTHES. Yes, there was poop in every fold of every fabric, every hood, and in pockets, shoes...you name it. It took me a good 15 minutes to shut my curious kitten in the bedroom, clear the closet, shake out the poo from my clothes and my shoes, and vacuum it all up. It will take far longer to clean this memory from my mind.

I mean, I know it's not their job to clean my apartment, but if you see that happen (I don't want to think about what happened if the guy's face was up by the panel), wouldn't you think to either A) clean up what you could, and/or B) at least leave that in the note! Like, When we accessed the attic, we made kind of a mess in your closet...we're sorry, and will make it up to you. I now have to wash half the clothes in my closet, and I really want to ask for compensation for all the extra laundry I now have to do to clean up the disgusting mess.

Please insert therapy and encouraging words in the comments section...it will be much appreciated. Follow-up to come once my landlady returns my call tomorrow.