Disclaimer: I am not an economic analyst, and don't pretend to know the inner working and meaning of the sagging global ecomonic situation. These are merely observations.
I've been thinking a lot since I've graduated, and actually since before I graduated. I have this Literature degree. I always knew I wanted to write, and I always assumed that meant earning a living as a writer in some capacity. Then I thought that might actually kill the joy in writing to work on someone else's projects, someone else's timetable, and under someone else's expectations of what I should be turning out. And then the horror struck: what the heck do I want to do with my life?
I still don't know. But I had the following realization at dinner tonight: with the economy as it is, is anyone fulfilled by their job? Has doing work that means something to you become another fallen American (global?) ideal? I have been feeling like I need to apologize, in a sense, for my degree. I know how to write a mean essay. I know that doesn't help [insert company/industry here], but I need a job. Sorry. That's bullcrap. I spent four years and a nice chunk of change following my heart and studying what I love. I don't need to apologize to anyone, and I need to stop doing so to myself. The world can take its lack of a hoot and stuff it like a Thanksgiving turkey.
I've been thinking about the people I know. Remember in elementary school when it was exciting to shop for new clothes, to pick out the perfect Trapper Keeper and fill your pencil case with perfectly sharpened Teconderoga #2 pencils, when you'd fall asleep in your new Lee Dungarees and LA Gear sneaks? Who does that as an adult? Everyone I know, or at least the people who immediately come to mind, pretty much wants to murder their alarm clock when it beckons them to work. Even if you like your job, I'm sure there's some part of you that is a little sad. I'm a writer. I will never stop being a writer, no matter what I do 9-5. But there is still that hunger to want to go to sleep at night, proud of what I've done, so that when people ask me what I do, I can say "I ______," and I can honestly mean it when I smile and say, "It's great."
Which brings me to another point, another global phenomenon. Why are we defined by what we do? The mythical do. When someone asks you what you do, they want to know what your job is, what your title is, what kind of car do drive, and how many people work under you? I never know quite how to handle this question of what I do. I do a lot. Don't try and cram me into a one-word definition. But all the same, when I ask myself that question, I'm blank.
I spoke with a friend and former roommate earlier this evening, and she just reinforced what I've been feeling about a "wasted degree." She has a BS in psychology, and is attempting to pursue her masters and enroll in a PhD program. The area she wants to study, however, will not provide the job market or the paycheck she'd need; she even said after going through the programs, the degree wouldn't even pay for itself. It's this kind of conversation that makes me wonder why there is so much emphasis on college, and why people go. So few of us graduate and actually move into the fields we studied to enter, or at least find work that means something to us. Everywhere requires some kind of degree, but I feel like job opportunities are either so generalized that a specific degree doesn't matter (as long as you have one to your name), or the job is so specific that you're chasing it your whole life only to skirt around it on the peripherals. Bachelors degrees seem to be a dime a dozen now, and so the push is toward the Masters. Eventually everyone will a Dr. Jon/Jane Smith, and then what? Will someone have to create an even higher degree just to keep the hierarchy going?
The point I'm trying to make is that I'm very disillusioned with this whole growing up thing, but for reasons I think are unique to my generation and those immediately surrounding it. We are graduating into really shaky times, times where the trades are no longer enough. It used to be that a man (pardon the sexism for a minute) would work his ass off in some labor-intensive job all day to support his family. Higher education, often past grade school, wasn't common. That man would come home with the pride that comes from knowing what he did mattered. What a man did, he often did until he died, usually as the result of that occupation. What a man's father did, he did, and so one. Family business meant something. My generation faces the opposite: it's alarming that five career changes is considered standard now. And more and more kids are pushing against their family business. Dad pushes son to be a doctor just like him; son joins a rock band to push back and away. Mom wants more for her daughter; daughter winds up just like Mom anyway. These are exteme examples, I know. But I need extreme to try and get across what I feel.
Where is the fulfilling work? Why are we measured in salary, and why are job interviews all about settling? When did we stop believing we can achieve our ultimate goals? I know part of me has accepted I will spend most of my life settling. And that disturbs me more than anything else. That is the new American reality.
2 comments:
I think the reason we define ourselves by the job we have, or I have, is because it reflects on who were are or want to be. I mean, I could take a job washing windows. But I would see that a merely a step stone to something or because I didn't have any other options.
As to the comment of degrees being a dime a dozen; they are. I am sure 20 years ago, there were fewer BS degrees and fewer people that were inclined or go to college. It was still the higher education it should be. Now, anyone that can pass certain tests, get the loans and get the acceptance of a school can go. The degree means far less now and one must distingush ones self from the pack. I don't blame the students, "pushed" there by society and because of social moreys. Some people aren't made for college. Some don't have the academic skills, the temperment or the drive. Some just don't know what they want. Some want the schooling, but there aren't options. I am sure that we need more mid-level education (technical schools, etc) for a better trained work force.
You could blame the colleges, but they run like a buisness. They make money to teach. Now they see all the money available to get to teach people. College has morphed into the world populated by most of the people you knew in HS and not the educational centres the should be. Until society makes a decision or the economy does, the majority of colleges will become less and less credible and potent for education.
Something tells me I need a little time to digest this. But right off the bat, I think I disagree with you about settling - I think that's where the five career changes come in. All those laborers who did what they did until they died settled into (and possibly for) a lifelong career. Right now, us young 'uns don't know what we want, so we hop from one thing to another. Perhaps because I'm of that generation, I think that's okay - I'd rather hop from place to place than settle somewhere I hate being. (Go ahead and laugh for all the times I've said I hate my job but am still here :) Unfortunately, part of the growing up thing is accepting the fact that sometimes you have to wait to get where you want to be because of financial issues or whatever.
You know, my grandfather was a coal miner, a farmer, and a factory worker before he died. He didn't go from job to job often, but he moved when he had to. So I don't necessarily think it's all about this generation, either. I think it's actually always been ingrained into American society in some form or other. It's just maybe more prevalent now.
The one thing I can say about these bad economic times is that it's showing all of us how much more we are expecting from life than what we're actually willing to work for - in other words, we live high on the hog when we really can't afford to. I hate that people are losing their jobs so intensely right now, and that we're pretty much heading into a depression (not a recession), but this happens periodically because we need to be reminded that we have to work for what we get. I actually think this generation's willingness to bounce from place to place could be manipulated to be a good thing - we're more malleable, which I think is required in this kind of economy.
I don't know. I need time to digest your blog...
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