Ladies and Gentlemen, my Friend, Tara

So just a little while ago, I got a text from Tara. It is possibly the best text I have ever received.

From Tara:
"I just cut the tip of my thumb off cutting potatoes and it hurts like a MOFO!!!! It won't stop bleeding--what do you think I should do?"

I, of course, called her immediately, and, when she answered her phone in giggles that must have been part delirium and part embarrassment, I yelled, "YOU TEXTED ME THAT?! REALLY?!" Apparently, by the time she consulted me, the clear medical expert, it had been half an hour of bleeding with no signs of stopping. This, plus holding her arm above her head for 30 minutes explains the delirium. When John and I inquired what kind of knife she was using, she declared, "It was a butcher knife. A really nice one--it was Wolfgang Puck!"

Then I learned the true chain of events.

1. start cutting taters
2. cut finger
3. run to bathroom, where husband is showering, to demand a band aid and help
4. Google search "how do I stop the bleeding after cutting off my thumb"
5. text me

I feel like after step #2, a nice call to a local hospital or doctor's office would have been prudent, but then we'd have no story.

And this, the latest text update from the knife0-wielding wonder herself: