House Dreams

I love our apartment. It's adorable, is the perfect size most of the time, and has many of the qualities I hope for in whatever house we wind up in: charm, hardwood floors, a layout that makes sense, an extra bedroom.

But I am just as often reminded of all the things I couldn't live without for much longer. I am continually frustrated by two spaces, which are two make-or-break points in a house sale: the kitchen and the bathroom. Both spaces are fine if you're alone. The problem is that, almost every day I'll be in, say, the bathroom brushing my teeth, and then John will wedge in and attempt to brush his teeth, too. Standing practically implanted in my side. As we fight for spitting room. In the pedestal sink. We inevitably knock things over cuz there is no room to rest anything since there is no counter. The other day on such an occasion, my toothbrush wound up on the floor. Thankfully it was after I had finished with it. But still, in that moment, I yelled, "HIS AND HERS SINKS AND A BIG BATHROOM IS A MUST IN OUR HOUSE!!!!!!" I'm pretty sure I then smoked out the ears, and blasted a hole in the wall with the lasers coming out of my eyes. While John and I were bumbling to get out of the bathroom, Hammy comes trotting in, chirping away, and rubs against my ankles. A picture of overcrowded, claustrophobic perfection.

My second biggest pet peeve also occurs in the kitchen. I'll be putting away groceries, which takes up nearly every square inch of the room, and John will waltz in, deciding he wants tea, or needs to throw something away that very second, or worse--tries to help, but just winds up getting more things in my way. His method of helping is emptying out all the bags onto the one square inch of counter space we have. Which infuriates me because I have a very specific method. It works. It doesn't involve putting everything on counters. It's sad that it upsets me because he's trying to help, which I genuinely appreciate. But this scenario is another that ends in yelling, throwing of reusable bags, and unceremonious chucking of yogurt into the fridge. And, as if on cue, Hammy comes in, selects his favorite burlap bag and lays down on it, looking up at me and purring contentedly. ::sighs::

So here it is, my HGTV Property Idiot First Time Home Buyers Wish List:
1. Preferably one floor
2. Hardwood floors (but some carpet might be nice)
3. A screened in porch for Hammy to enjoy (and to act as a buffer to enter the house should he try and escape)
4. 2/3 bedrooms
5. John needs a mancave
6. DISHWASHER
7. Washer/dryer on main floor if there's a basement or upstairs if there are 2 stories. I'm tired of nearly plummeting to my death doing laundry. Who decided a narrow, dark concrete stairwell only needed light switches and a frigging DOOR to manipulate...genius).
8. Preferably 2 bathrooms

Something also pissing me off these days: my computer, which becomes more and more senile every day. I am literally counting down to buying a new one. I almost throw this one out the window every single time I try and use it.

That's all for now.