To Spring

I'm enjoying this beautiful weather, and am ready for a change of season in more ways than one.

Keep the sunshine coming. Hamlet agrees.

Oh, Mommy! What wondrous smells!

I can has squirrel?

... _ _ _ ...

Why is it so difficult for a smart, educated, young professional to get a job?

I don't like a being a victim. Being on unemployment is embarrassing, and I am tired of letting the world judge my worth and beating me down to believe they are correct.

I am tired of applying for jobs, going on interviews that tell me I have the qualities they are looking for in an ideal candidate, then having them pick someone else. I am tired of getting the stock, "We appreciate your time and talents, but we ultimately went with a candidate who was better qualified." WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? What's worse, is that I've built good rapport with more than one interview and then they just never get back to me...get off your high horses...you were here once, too. A small, insignificant speck before you got the corner office and awesome salary. I'm over you.

In my job hunt, I've been advised against a few things.

1. Don't let on that I'm engaged
2. Don't make it apparent that I'm a recent college graduate

These things upset me for a few reasons. I am naive and idealistic. I don't deny this, nor do I regret it. I still think that people should be judged based on their person, their talents. Isn't refusing a job to someone who would be a great fit in 10 more years even though they meet the requirements now an act of ageism? I'm sorry, but you haven't been answering phones professionally for nearly long enough. Try us again when you're older.

And what does it mean to not let them know I'm engaged? Do I not wear my ring to interviews? Should I buy a cheap sterling band so it looks like I'm already married? I mean, either way, there is going to come a time where I GET MARRIED. Wouldn't it be better to "come clean" from the get go rather than, a month before the wedding, asking for two weeks off?

I'm so sick of looking for a job where the people are just so totally unconcerned with the people with whom they're dealing. I'm sick of jumping through hoops for a room of blind people.

I am running out of time, out of patience, out of respect for myself and out of options.

I'm tried of living every day feeling like the world is trying to kill me, and having gotten to the point where I believe it to be true. I am tired of fighting with my utilities companies, with scrounging for money I don't have. I worked so hard my whole life in school to prepare for me jobs. Why do I feel now like that was a total waste and I'm gonna end up folding shirts anyway?

These last 5 months have totally broken me, and taken away a lot of the joy I found in life. I am jaded beyond jaded, depressed, and pretty much hopeless at this point. I keep thinking it'll get better, and it gets worse. If there's a bottom I'm not at yet, how much further can I possibly fall. That's a scary question...I hope it's not answered.

If anyone out there has any new directions I can take my job search, I'd really appreciate it. I've out CareerBuilt myself, slayed the Monster, and am scouring Craigslist as well as a few smaller job sites.

Consider this my official SOS.