What's in a Name?

(Insert Shakespeare-y eye roll here.)

I've been thinking a lot--probably more than is healthy--about how my name will be changing in about 6 months.

My first thoughts are, of course, full of excitement because I think of it in terms of signing our marriage license, having our witnesses sign the license, and just enjoying our wedding day. I can't wait to have John refer to me as "wife," and I can't wait to finally and officially call him "husband." As Mora blogged when musing about being newly married, there is just a sense of legitimacy and clout in having a spouse. When you call someone your boyfriend, it can tend to seem new and somewhat of a question mark. Then you get a fiance, which causes excitement and congratulations. It seems every time I mention my fiance in front of someone new, congratulations and wedding questions almost immediately follow. But again, this can sometimes set off "new" and "young" vibes. Once you get to husband, though, it seems generally accepted that you are an adult, and that your relationship has actual "meaning." It sounds firm when you say, "I can't come in to work today. My husband fell and broke his wrist" versus "My boyfriend broke his wrist"which may be translated as "OMG my bf got a boo boo!" There's a true sense of need and belonging, and of social togetherness. I'm looking forward to all of that as much as I have enjoyed the process of getting to this point (almost 7 years in the making, thank you very much). I've felt for a very long time that John has been my husband, and now we simply get the legal documentation to prove it.

My second thoughts are of things like having to learn a new signature. I'm sorry, but the double-g i thing kills me. I have yet to discover the secret formula to make Maureen Riggi look good as a signature. But I'll have plenty of time to get it right. I also think a lot about re-establishing myself at work under a new name. Thankfully I've built steady relationships with coworkers both in and outside my office, and many of them know about the wedding, so that will be simple. And for those who I haven't worked with yet, they'll just have to search me under my new name. The HR aspect is a bit daunting, honestly. Do I get a new email address, or keep my current one since it's really just my first name anyway? Do I update my listing from Egan to Riggi? Do I hyphenate for professional use? What's the best way to transition?

This leads to what is probably the most stressful, and that's the legal aspect. I don't have a personal HR department to help me switch my name on all my various documents...DMV, SSN, bills, etc. I know it'll get done, and it's a bit frustrating, but the thought of it now is kind of overwhelming. I'll be gaining a legal alias. Hence I've been holding off on getting a passport. It's not worth it to get one only to have to update and switch it in a few months anyway.

Another thing I keep mulling over is how I'll be known as Maureen Riggi for longer than I've been known as Maureen Egan, and that's a strange thought. I mean, our parents have always been, for the most part, known to us and Mom and Dad Last Name, which is also my Last Name. Until we're older we don't really give much thought to Mom's life with Old Last Name. I know this is all way deeper thought that is normal or necessary, but this is what I've been thinking about as I doodle my name plus John's last name. It's a mini identity crisis, dag nabbit! Also, and I tease John about this endlessly, I love having an identity so obviously Irish. Several visitors to my office ask my name and as soon as I say, Maureen Egan, the immediate response is, "Oh, what a beautiful Irish name." It makes me sad that that will now be buried under Riggi. John and I were watching a program on NJN about contemporary Irish music (it was around St. Pat's), and the host was a young woman with blue hair and curly blonde hair. I forget her last name, but it was Italian. John said, "Gosh, they couldn't even get someone Irish to host?" And I snapped, "She probably is, but her married name is Italian." But it's true. It's not that I'm not equally proud of my Italian background, but I do like being so easily identified by my name and my features (a gentleman recently told me I was a classic Gallway Girl and referred me to the song). I wonder if, as I'm known as Riggi, if I'll look "more" Italian to people.

I'm, of course, happy to take John's name, and all of this is also a way of deferring some of my other wedding stresses, but I think there are more than a few concerns in there that I can't be alone in having. I'm clearly overthinking all of this. But like I said, I'm sure these aren't unique thoughts--someone has had to have shades of even the craziest crap I wrote up there.

Married friends, how did you feel as you approached your wedding date, and how was the transition to your new name and new identity as Wife? Thoughts? Advice? Anecdotes? Please do share.

Love,
Maureen

PS: another ridiculous thought...do I change Hammy's name on his vet records? He's currently Hamlet Egan. haha