This is not news: I am a very anxious person. And when I start to feel overwhelmed by stress and anxiety, I tend to fling it all in one direction. A few weeks ago, that direction was my wedding dress.
I had gone for my first fitting and put it on for the first time in seven months. I wasn't really worried until I had it on. It fit fine, but then I started to panic over it looking right (aka OMGAMIFAT?!?!?!?!?!), and it being comfortable (I know it'll never feel like sweatpants and a tee shirt, but you know what I mean). It was so hard to imagine it all coming together as I stood there with pins all over the place for alterations, and at that moment, it all became real: all the months (and years, really) of planning caught up with me in that one instant. I have the deer-in-headlights-look pictures to prove it. But I'll save them for a post-wedding blog when I can truly laugh at my anxiety levels, and--duh!--so I don't spoil the surprise for everyone and ruin Le Grande Reveal. After freaking out and vowing to really REALLY watch everything I eat, I calmed down and have resumed somewhat normalcy.
Now my worries are manifesting themselves in the honeymoon. I feel like every trip planner I read is for planning your Disney vacation as if you're planning a war. I can't help but wonder how these people manage to have fun, and why they ever want to go back. So I'm worrying about getting to reservations on time, about the trams/boats/monorails, about the sheer scale of the parks (the maps on the website make it seem like it's going from one end of Princeton's campus to the other, when in reality, each park is likely much larger than the entirety of Princeton's campus), and mainly I just worry about worrying so much I don't enjoy it. As you can see, I'm terrible at relaxing. I should schedule a nice massage in there somewhere...
This, too, will pass in a few days, and I'll find somewhere new to shine my crazy light, but until then, this will consume me. Thank goodness it's a three-day weekend, and thank goodness we're taking care of some (fun!) wedding errands tomorrow. We also hope to visit with John's family and my parents are coming up on Sunday. Monday I hope to just relax at home and go with the flow.
Coming attraction:
Maureen VS Nature. Yes, friends, your very own Maureen Egan will go camping. Overnight. In nature. Sleeping in a tent on the floor. I'm sure plenty of hilarity at my expense will ensue. I don't like getting dirty. I hate bugs. I like showers and peeing in toilets rather than squatting in bushes. But I also really freaking love s'mores, so I'm giving this whole thing a whirl. Stay tuned.
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